Welcome Relief

After writing my post yesterday, today has gone surprisingly well. Mostly due in part because I was able to write all my feelings down. I felt some mental relief and so today when Sarah pushed a few times, I was ready. She's contently played today with her toys and even went down for a nap without a single problem! Sigh... these days make up for all the crazy ones. I'm also feeling really good because I'm "fall cleaning". Aaron has been out of town the last week for work, so I decided he should come home to a spotless house. I've decorated for fall and Thanksgiving and Sarah and I are going to carve a pumpkin tonight. Suppers cooking right now, so I can't write for long. I just wanted to document how good we all feel today (besides my lingering cold!).

Parental Testing!

Just need to vent a little... ha ha ha.

Sarah has finally decided she is a two year old and she's going to let everyone know. She picks up easily on actions of others and seems to attach herself to words she knows she shouldn't say. I get so frustrated with the general public for their ease of bad speech around her. For example, the other day we were at a consignment store and a little boy was playing with Sarah. He couldn't have been much older than 4, but what he was saying was awful! What made it even worse was the fact that his mother was standing about 10 feet away from him and never said anything about him being ugly. He kept saying he was going to kill Sarah and making awful sounds. At first he frightened her, but then she started playing with him. I was curious how Sarah would react, so I just stood by and watched carefully, with the intent of pulling her away if it got out of control. Sarah knows that the WAY you speak can be hurtful and ALSO your words. She kept telling this little boy over and over again that he was being "ugly". Eventually, his actions became immune to her - as in she stopped reacting so much to him. It made me think of how easily our consciences can be seared by just being around things that are "risky". Sarah started getting pretty out of hand because she was feeding off of his negative attitude, so I paid for what I had found and we left. This is what shocked me - for the rest of the day Sarah had the WORST disposition. She back-talked, made ugly faces, and even once did a raspberry at me because she didn't like what I had told her.

What's sad is that the little boy probably had that attitude because he has learned it in his home. The only interaction I ever saw between him and his mother is when she told him to - and I quote - "sit your butt down!" Little children are so needy for our attention, and if it's negative - it's hurtful to their little minds.

Sarah test my patience daily. I know this is because she's trying to be independent. By the end of the day, it seems I'M the one whose exhausted. Yesterday in the Wal-Mart parking lot we had to have a little talk. All day long she had a bad attitude and would not obey. She pushed and pushed me. It was difficult for me not to lose my temper with her. By the time we got done at Wal-Mart, I was on the verge of tears. Then it came to me that maybe she should see my real emotion of how she had treated me made me feel. We sat down in the car and I told her, with tears streaming down my face, that she had made me feel sad because of how many times I had to tell her no and spank her. I told her I was tired of having to be "mean" to her and that I really would like for us to have some fun together. I would like for us to get to do fun things as treats for being good during erands. Of course, her poor little tender heart opened up and she started crying and said, "I'm so sorry mommy." Which, in return, made me cry even harder because she understood to some extent what I was trying to tell her.

In the middle of all this, the baby picks up on all the emotion and begins wailing. All day long he's been fussy too because he has heard the tone in my voice with Sarah. Babies are SO sensitive to mommy's feelings.

As I'm sitting here writing this, Sarah is watching Dora the Explorer in her pajamas. Yes, it's 3:53 pm, but that's what happens sometimes. She's been better today, but I think there will be more to come.

Parents are constently tested. Either by our children, our families, or the world. It makes us second guess ourselves. And we're not perfect. There's many times I wish I could have gone back and handled a situation better with Sarah. For every test, we make an action. My hope is that I always chose to push back. By that I mean to NEVER ignore. Sarah's in the middle of setting her boundaries and they need to be clearly posted by me. "To train up a child..." Right now I have to train her so that she has a great foundation laid. May God give me the strength to pour the firmest foundation in Him that I possibly can. I love my little girl and I know how good her heart is. She's precious and exhausting at the same time. But every night when I put her down for bed and she asks me for multiple hugs and kisses, I thank God that I have the opportunity to hold her hand and take this journey with her.

A belated birthday party

Sarah's a 2 years old fairy princess!

Sarah's 2 year birthday party was on September 27th, almost 2 weeks after her actual birthday. She had a fairy princess theme and we had a lot of fun. Unfortunately, a lot of people couldn't come because of other things going on. We sure missed all of them, but we had a good time with the few that could come. It was a lot of work, but worth every minute of it when she walked into the party and grinned from ear to ear. She noticed all the decorations! Her 2 year old party was definately more fun than her 1 year old.

Her birthday cake... Bene't made her a special

butterfly cake with glittery sprinkles. Sarah loved it and boy did it taste good!

Blowing out her candles... she never could get them blown out by herself. Brookie had to help her get the job done. She tried awful hard though.

We had an area for the kids to color pictures of fairies and frogs. They all seemed to enjoy it.

Be-bo (baby Aaron) at the party. He had just started smiling really big. He wasn't even 2 months old yet. He's SO chunky, I love it!

I LOVE this picture! I saw Aaron and Sarah playing in her tent and I ran over there to snap a picture. Isn't it fun?

A quick family snap-shot. I'm smiling pretty goofy, I was laughing at Sarah being such a ham.

Our dress up station. Everyone could be a princess if they wanted to. We had tiaras, wands, bracelets and necklaces.